Whether you're picking your first career or trying to decide on a new direction, these decisions can cause a lot of aggravation.
Pick the wrong one and you may end up on an expressway to hell.
Something I've realised as I've gotten older is that how we make decisions are inherently flawed. We focus on what we want and this tends to be where we go wrong.
Why?
Because we are terrible at accurately predicting what will make us happy. Therefore, when we make decisions on what we want on the basis we think these things will make us happy, we inevitably mis-judge and can end up with disastrous results.
The traditional path to choosing a career
How did you get into your current career? Perhaps your parents were role models. Maybe you took advice from your teachers at school. Or maybe, you simply fell into it.
These are all pretty standard mechanisms for how we end up in our professions.
One of the most prevalent ways of picking a career is based on holding certain beliefs about how that career will:
Make us happy.
Provide appropriate resources for us (i.e., money, status, respect, power etc.)
Provide a career ladder to metaphorically "climb".
Take for example those individuals who choose to become lawyers.
What are some of the common reasons as to why people choose that path?
It's a "stable" job.
It has reasonably "high status" in society.
It is well paid.
Opportunity for career progression.
And perhaps they've seen a bit too much Law & Order.
It is common for people to "project" certain beliefs onto particular careers. Especially those that are subject to TV shows and films. But this is a dangerous game to play.
Whilst the job of the lawyer might be glamourised in the media, the reality is somewhat different. The courtroom drama shown is not your average lawyer's life. Most of their time is spent reading, researching, analysing, and writing. And where the big bucks are (corporate law) you're not even reading the interesting murder case files. But instead trying to work out the nuances of some obscure financial contract.
So, if you pick the life of the lawyer based on the glamour of Law & Order, or in the belief that the status and money will outweigh your hate of tedious paperwork… you may be setting yourself up for a career you loathe.
This logic doesn't simply apply to careers as a whole, but also when deciding to change roles or consider promotion.
The inverted way of making career decisions…
Most coaches, gurus, mentors etc. will tell you to pick your career (or role) on the basis of what you enjoy and what you want.
The theory being that if you do what you enjoy, how could you not love your career?
But the reality is, whilst we may enjoy certain elements of our careers or roles, we have to carefully balance that with the other parts of it.
Instead of focusing on what we want or what we enjoy, we should invert the question.
What are the key elements you DON'T want in your life?
I bet if I was to ask you what causes you the most stress, aggravation and frustration you'd be able to tell me almost immediately.
There's no point going for a career that involves sitting at a computer all day long if you cannot stand the idea of being stuck inside, unmoving.
Equally, there's no point being a teacher if you hate kids! (The amount of people I've spoken to that have chosen teaching as a career simply because it was in demand and "stable" yet could not stand children is mind boggling to me).
As I think about my own career and what I want to change in the future it is far easier to think about all the things I don't want.
For example:
I don't want to work shifts again.
I don't want to have to fight to get Christmas off.
I don't want to work from an office every single day of the week.
I don't want to work in a toxic culture.
Start with the easy "don't wants" - i.e., if you hate the idea of manual labour, then any career which involves that needs to be immediately struck off the list. Equally, if the idea of analysis and scientific inquiry bores you to tears, avoid a career in research.
When considering new roles or that promotion, think about the elements of your current position that you absolutely loathe, will these be reduced or amplified by changing positions?
Too often we get caught up in the allure of something shiny and new without properly considering the pitfalls that may be waiting.
Once you have your list of the definitive "don't wants", those issues you couldn't possibly tolerate, you can move onto the second list. In the second list these "don't wants" are the ones where you would be more willing to make a compromise on.
It's time to get real for a second. No matter what influencers and celebrities tell you, there is not a single job in the world where you will enjoy EVERY element. Where most people get it wrong is believing that their "dream job" will always be pleasurable and bring constant joy. Therefore, they are unwilling to accept anything less, resulting in feelings of frustration and stress.
The way to solve this predicament is to accept that you will have tasks, objectives, and maybe people, that you don't enjoy working with or doing but they are an unavoidable aspect of your work. However, you can minimise the impact these have by making sure you do not compromise on the "don't wants" that you couldn't tolerate.
When you consider what you would be willing to make some compromises on, it is likely that your "couldn't possibly tolerate" list will actually become reasonably short. Then it's simply a case of ranking the other "don't wants" by HOW MUCH you're willing to compromise on them.
This process will pay dividends when considering what your "dream career" or new role might actually be.
Instead of basing the decision on what you "think" will make you happy and what you think you "want", you ensure that you reduce as much stress and friction by ensuring you AVOID the things you absolutely hate.
Concluding Thoughts
What we think will make us happy and what actually makes us happy can be two very distinct and different things.
Career choices are very susceptible to outside influence, which can also include unconscious beliefs, desires and fears.
We all like to believe we are super self-aware and know intuitively what will make us happy, but sometimes our truths are hidden, requiring excavation before we decide on a future path. Being honest with yourself about what you truly value and want in life, away from the pressures of friends, family and society is hugely important.
I'll leave you with two thoughts.
The first, whilst career decisions are big ones, they're not irreversible. Just because you've invested a significant amount of time climbing a ladder, doesn't mean it's too late to step back down and try a different one. The reality is, the longer you stay climbing the wrong one, the longer it will take to get back down. But, it's never impossible.
Lastly, our careers do not have to define us and they also do not need to be the source of the "meaningful work" we do in our lives. The rhetoric that your career should be what gives you meaning and fulfilment is in my opinion a false one. Sometimes, a job is just a job. It's a way to pay the bills and give you the necessary stability to live your life OUTSIDE of your job. We don't all have to trying to make money from our passions in life. We can just build our lives in such a way that we give ourselves more time and space to truly enjoy and relish those pursuits.